The Free Circle

Hii Dear Friend.

How are you? How has your week been so far? Mentally thriving, we hope.

Well, The Free Circle sends warm greetings to your abode.

Today’s topic is “Entitlement”.

Yes! Quite odd a topic, huh?

Well, not to worry. It’ll all make sense soon.

Remember that at the Free Circle, we do not just dwell on the “Diagnosed” mental struggles but the “Undiagnosed” ones as well as we believe that they birth the “Diagnosed” ones.

And Entitlement is definitely one of those “Undiagnosed” ones because not only is it morally wrong and plain annoying but it is also mentally downgrading.

At this point, I’m sure you’re wondering “How??“

We’ll get into that but first: What is Entitlement?

Entitlement is the concept, idea of belief a person has that he or she is deserving of particular privileges or special treatment. Some even relate it to their status. Like a rich spoilt child who believes the world rotates around them and their demands or some people who believe that they are entitled to their brother/sister’s belongings. You know, stuff like that.

Now, normally a person is entitled to some things. You know, some form of favour, privilege, all that…

But then it can become “too much”. And when it’s too much, it becomes a mental struggle.

How?

Well, entitlement becomes a mental health struggle when the person or people with an “entitlement complex” start feeling that they are owed more than they are actually entitled to and this can lead to feelings of frustration, anger and depression.

Now, dear friend, remember when mum would buy a pack of biscuit which obviously we would think was ours but then she wouldn’t let us have the whole pack but take it piece by piece instead and even worse, we weren’t allowed to have a piece whenever we wanted?

Remember how frustrated we used to feel? Remember how we would begin to throw tantrums and cry and whine all because we didn’t get what we felt we were “entitled” to.

Or when we would do something for someone and not get the favour returned. Like I got you a million dollar gift and you’re giving me a few cents?? That kind of thing…

Do you see how sort of “entitled” all that was? The pack of biscuits wasn’t even bought with our own money neither were our names written on them and even if they were, why didn’t we just ask more nicely or better still take the negative answer we were given in good faith? We could blame our then age but what about now? Do you still throw adult tantrums when you don’t get what you want???

Why should you get your friend a gift and get annoyed that he or she didn’t get you the same thing or even more? Wasn’t the gift you got for them from your heart?? Don’t you love them enough to go all out for them? Do you quantify your friendships by only material things?? Like yeah, your friend should go all out for you if they can afford it but what if they didn’t have as much as you did??

Well, dear friend, the sad hard truth is “No one owes you anything” even if you bought them the world.

Before you scoff… Hold on…

Some people might want to bring “courtesy” into this but unfortunately, dear friend, not everyone recognizes courtesy. Some people just don’t think that far unfortunately and you can’t blame them.

We bet that by now, a lot of us are really thinking about all we’ve read so far. Remembering the days we expected so much and got disappointed. Or when we gave our all and only got a piece or when we gave a mile and only got an inch.

Dear Friend. It is okay.

Expect less and just love more. Don’t do anything just so you can have it back. It defeats the whole purpose of doing anything in the first place. You might as well not even bother, don’t you think?

We know it won’t be easy. Yeah, it wasn’t easy at all for some of us either. So here are some ways we believe will help you tremendously;

• Identify the things that trigger you to start exhibiting entitlement behaviors/characters. Like is it when you go all out for someone and then you expect so much from them back? Or is it when someone gives you something like expensive stuff and money and you just see yourself always going back for more even when you’re not entitled to it.
• Set clear expectations and boundaries. This is important so you don’t overwork yourself thinking about the returns you “should” make when you give something out or do something for someone or even when someone does it for you. If you’re the kind of person that can’t help expecting something back when you give or do something for someone else then we advise that you don’t give out so much.
• Focus on building a meaningful relationship with the individual instead. We understand that you went through heaven and hell for this person but then, dear friend, don’t dwell on the materiality of the relationship but rather on the value of it. Money could never buy a pure heart or a true friendship. Keep that in mind always.
• Lastly, if you need any more. Just reach out to us directly on our socials or right here in the comment section. We’d be happy to give you more.

Well, dear friend, that is all for now. We hope you were able to get a thing of two but incase you weren’t able to get anything. At least take this: “Nobody owes you anything. Do your good and move on whilst living your best life.“

Remember, you cannot do anything right if you’re not thinking right.

We love you. God loves you even more.

Keep thriving! Less stressing!

Today’s quote is from Matthew McConaughey: “Life’s not fair, it never was, it isn’t now and it won’t ever be. Do not fall into the trap, the entitlement trap, of feeling like you’re a victim. You are not.”

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Till next time, Dear Friend.🤍